I used to be a little girl but I'm not. Karen Wilson, artist. I love making art.

 


I Used To Be A Little Girl . . .



I Used To Be A Little Girl . . .


I used to be
      a little girl
            but I'm not
I used to be
      a little girl
            and I bought

         the myth of me as little girl
         daddy's oh so most precious pearl
         princess to be saved
         by a prince so very brave
         and I'd turn out a star
         admired from afar

I used to be
      a little girl

I used to love
      each pretty curl
         signs the dream would come true
         nothing to do
         but take care of each pretty curl
         keep my eyes big and wide
         and I'd be swept off by a tide
         to the prince's side
         to be his bride

but got left at high tide
      stranded on a wide
         cold windswept beach
         not a soul within reach
         soaked through each little curl

I'm still part
      little girl
I've still got
      my curls

but I've got a new song
      women are strong
and I've been making
      parts of
            my own world


And I'd still love to be a star
      my art admired near and far

And parts of me still long
      to be that oh so most previous pearl
            of a prince so very brave
                  so very strong
      and we'd belong
                        together

Elsa
August 14, 2000
November 4, 2021 (last 2 verses)

© copyright, words - Elsa Schieder, 2000, 2021, all rights reserved
sound design - Mark Corwin

 

Karen WIlson, art

Karen WIlson, artist

________

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I used to be a little girl
but I'm not.
Karen Wilson, artist.
I love making art.



Is this truly Karen?
I don't know.
I thought of her,
and these are the words that came,
all but the final 2 verses.

I wrote most of the piece
just over 20 years ago.

Karen told me liked it.

I can still hear her voice
reading the piece.

It never got recorded.

A few days ago,
going through old papers,
I came upon it.
It felt right to record it.

But the original ending
felt too simple.
Too pat.
Yes, women are strong,
and we're trying to make at least parts
of our own worlds.

But there is so much more.

Like . . .

Karen had masses of her paintings
leaning against each other,
dozens,
in more than one room
of her home.

Decades of work.

Hard to continue painting,
when only the occasional piece finds a home.

Also, there is that ongoing longing for love.

I know that mattered a lot for her.

So I added the last 2 verses,
words that it felt right to add.


Karen died a few years ago.

This is, in many ways, a tribute to her.


Elsa
November 7, 2021



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Elsa, songwriter
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Mark Corwin, viiola, composer, sound producer
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